(1) Quatchi's secret Pepsi fetish: Seems like this may have been the work of a clever impersonator - someone is out to mar the reputation of our beloved host and I'm having none of it... no scandal
(2) Preggo Curling Team Member sneaks in extra player: If we start banning pregnant women from competing, what's next? People with really bad haircuts? Metrosexuals? Nickelback fans? Much as I am opposed to new babies in general (I'm looking at you, mom)... no scandal.
(3) Roomie Situation: I don't know much about these things yet, but I think it's safe to say that there will be none of the S-E-X happening between these two... no scandal.
(4) & (5) Fire & Ice glitches abound: I think the combined efforts of the opening ceremony gaffes and the ENDLESS issues at the speed skating rink (The zamboni! The hot water! The ice repairs! The delays!) warrant a SCANDAL! here. But if I have to listen to Catrina LeMay Doan jabber any more about the damned toe-kicks at the line, I'm going LOSE IT. We get it, Catrina, you hate the toe-kicks. Move on!!
(6) Fox fur death threats: Now this is what I like to see in the figure skating arena... SCANDAL! Not on par with a Tonya Harding, but lively nonetheless.
(7) Timing/Access, etc: Much of this seems to be a result of the weather which, in fairness, cannot REALLY be blamed on the IOC. I think the other issues have been covered in scandal 4/5 above... no scandal.
(8) IOPC Judge MooseMoose DQ'd for doping: SCANDAL! SCANDAL! SCANDAL!
(9) Lame politicians: I'd rather watch my ridiculously boring Baby Einstein dvds than another second of that drivel, but not really scandal-worthy... no scandal.
So, the official SCANDAL! count now sits at: 3
Thank you oh judge for your wise rulings. Tell your mom you deserve to skip your nap today.
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